Originally posted as “Gimme That Old Time Religion” at Maxblog 1/3/2013

As I have grown older I have noticed a trend. It has dawned on me that people that are not religious or haven’t spent the time to consider religion tend to become religious about the time they reach middle age.
Considering the recent developments in my life I am starting to understand why this particular phenomenon tends to manifest itself at that particular time of life.
I find it easier to understand the older I get.
My Grandfather is the person I credit the most for the person I am today. I remember him telling me once that he was in his late 30’s early 40’s when he decided to settled down and joined the Baptist Church. From that time on he was a teacher of the word. I feel that maybe he had embarked on a personal journey to find God in his own way not necessarily the Baptist way.

Now don’t get me wrong. I was brought up in the Southern Baptist Church. I had religion shoved in every orifice I had for years when I was a child. This was the 70’s and brainwashing was the norm in the Southern Baptist Church for those of us that were at an impressionable age.
By the time I was a teenager they had us believing a truckload of “Hate thy neighbor” rhetoric such as Jews and Blacks were evil. That was the position of the Southern Baptist Convention at that time even though they couldn’t site a basis for that particular position. Remember that was the 70’s. In the 90’s they made an apology for that. So now it’s OK and it’s like it never happened… Right?
If that wasn’t bad enough. I have had to defend myself from so-called good Christians most of my life. When I was in high school my best friends mother decided that I was Satan. Yes Satan! We spent many an hour sitting on the edge of her bed with the door shut discussing how I could turn my life around and serve god. In retrospect I really think she was grooming me for something more than just a religious experience.
Where my friend was concerned I spent most of my time trying to keep him out of jail or worse and his mother thought that all the trouble he did get into was my fault. I had a cousin like that as well.
Then came the 1980’s.

Around 1984 I found out that the woman I was living with was pregnant. We were having serious financial trouble because she couldn’t find a job. She was deaf and had no actual job skills. Remember this was the 1980’s. We lost our apartment and I sent her to stay with her brothers family in south Texas until I could find housing for us. I went to visit her as often as I could and I even offered to marry her.
Enter the good Christians
Her Father a pastor and her brother a pastor convinced her to put the child up for adoption. They got a lawyer and stripped me of my rights before I could respond.
I have never seen my oldest son. I hope to meet him someday.
Needless to say over the years I have had no use for the Church, especially Baptist Churches. This is an issue for me because my Uncle is a Baptist Preacher and I love my Uncle Jerry. The Pentecostals that are constantly trying to save me are not a big help either.
I guess that the upside is that I have had to learn the Bible backwards and forwards along with most of the christian writings outside of the Bible. I have also had to learn the creeds and conventions of the various denominations to be able to defend myself against Sunday Morning Christians. You know the ones, on Sunday morning they love God, the rest of the week they love everything but God. If nothing else this makes me knowledgeable and able to call them on their Bullshit. I even find the teachings of the Buddha, Hinduism and even Mohammad to be relevant in my search for enlightenment
As for now I have found that I have the need of Christianity even though I don’t need most Christians. I don’t need the Hypocrites.
So like my grandfather I embark on my journey to find God in my own way. I am not perfect and may stumble along the way but I think he knows I am flawed and accepts me anyway.
I will keep you posted.
I am Maximus the Confessor
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